I just listened to a MennoCast program where Val Hiebert and Jaymie Friesen were being interviewed. Jayme and Val coordinate an Abuse Response and Prevention program for Mennonite Central Committee Manitoba.

The two coordinators who bring a great deal of experience and expertise to their work talked about how every community, including every faith community, has people who have been abused either physically or sexually and are living in relationships that are violent and scary. Traditionally the church has not been a place where people can talk openly about this.
The podcast moderators asked Jaymie and Val what are the root causes of physical and sexual abuse in faith communities and they mentioned three things.
The first was the patriarchy that is still so prevalent in many churches where men are the ones primarily in positions of leadership and power and where God is referred to most frequently in male terms even though the Bible offers us rich mother images of God.
Jaymie and Val emphasized the importance of NOT conveying the message that men are bad or they are the problem but rather helping men realize a patriarchal system really doesn’t serve them well and keeps them small as men. They talked about the need to encourage men to become agents for changing patriarchal attitudes and systems.
The second concern they cited is a religious culture that emphasizes faith as an arrival point rather than as a journey or pilgrimage. Faith communities lay out what you are to believe and if you don’t stick to that you are ousted from the community.
This makes people vulnerable to abuse because they don’t feel they can ask questions or be honest about relationships that don’t live up to the ideal set out by their church.
A third factor they talked about is the church’s obsession with a kind of purity culture and their fear of having open conversations about healthy sexuality with young people. 78% of kids in our faith communities are sexually active and the church isn’t accepting this reality.
They also mentioned the issue of pornography and said many churches are hesitant to talk about the fact that people have been socialized to watch the violent and abusive sexual activity available on the screen rather than participate in healthy sexual relationships themselves.

The podcast provided lots of food for thought not only about how to prevent abuse but also offered suggestions and ideas for how restorative justice can bring healing but not necessarily forgiveness after incidents of abuse are reported.
Although the problem of abuse particularly in faith communities seems monumental and disturbing Jayme and Val say they find hope in the fact that more and more victims are finding their voices and speaking out about abuse. They also talked positively about programs that are being offered to help perpetrators of violence find the help they need to change their behaviour.
I encourage you to listen to the podcast yourself. This is an area where we all have a lot to learn. One in six women will experience abuse before the age of 18 and that includes women in faith communities. Those of us who participate in those communities have a responsibility to learn more and become agents of change.
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Laughing at the Suffering of Others