I was once an eighth grader myself and I parented two sons through that phase. Those experiences however have little in common with what it is like to be an eighth grader today in a world dominated by technology, where navigating relationships on Instagram and Snap Chat is perilous and where trying to figure out who you are apart from your social media presence seems impossible. The movie Eighth Grade which I saw on Monday night with friends does an amazing job of taking you into the world of young teens and showing you just how strange and difficult and awkward it can be to find your way through that social milieu.
The young girl at the center of the film Kayla lives with her father who has been her single parent since she was just a toddler. He is such a good dad! Concerned, caring, trying to give his daughter space to make choices but at the same time letting her know he is always there for her. Kayla is at a point of such low self esteem but her father makes it clear he thinks she’s a great kid!
The father Mark Day played by Josh Hamilton clearly believes being a good father is the most important thing in his life. He has a job but he doesn’t appear to let work or his social life interfere with his clear priority to just ‘be around’ so whenever his daughter does want to talk or she is upset he’s there.
The movie is great on many levels- from fifteen year old Elsie Fisher’s amazing performance as Kayla- to wonderful but cringe worthy scenes like the one where Kayla has a date with a loveable but totally nerdy boy she met at a party- to the truly scary scenes like the one where a highschool guy tries to take advantage of Kayla’s need to be liked and accepted.
I’d recommend the movie first and foremost though for parents of young teens because the Dad in this movie although he is bumbling and gets it wrong sometimes, and can drive his daughter wild, is basically stoic and caring and provides a textbook example of how to parent an eighth grader with unconditional love and a reassuring presence.
Why Adults Are Reading Teen Fiction
Why Do We Share Our Worst Selves With the People We Love the Most
What if you could no longer do the one thing you believed you were born to do? That’s the question at the heart of the movie The Rider. Filmed on the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota and directed by a young Beijing filmaker Chloe Zhao the main characters are all played by local people of the Lakota Sioux nation and not professional actors.
Brady the young man at the center of the story is a professional rodeo rider who can no longer ride because of a devastating head injury. His best friend has suffered a life altering injury as well and Brady’s kindness and care for him as well as for his autistic sister Lily make him such an appealing character. His mother has died, his Dad drinks and gambles too much and the family lives in poverty. Brady has a lot on his shoulders.
The scenery of the South Dakota badlands in this movie is breathtaking, the relationship between Brady and his horses magical and there is a religious aspect too that is thought provoking. Brady really believes God has put him on this earth to ride, but now that he can’t ride what is he to make of God? How can life still have meaning?
This is a profoundly sad movie with no uplifting Hollywood solutions. I chatted with a woman who is a concert pianist on the way out of the theater and she was wondering what she would do if she could no longer play the piano. I wondered what I would do if I could no longer write. What do you think would happen to you if you were no longer able to do the thing you love the most?
We saw the movie at Cinematheque and there are still a couple more showings this week.
The Audience Applauded For Her
You don’t often go to a movie where the audience claps as the credits roll but there was hearty applause on Sunday night at Winnipeg’s Cinematheque Theatre where I watched RBG a documentary about American Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. She is a remarkable and interesting woman in so many ways. Here are five.
- Ruth who is 85 has survived cancer twice and works out regularly with her personal trainer- planking and doing twenty push ups in a row.
- She wears different collars with her Supreme Court robes depending on the cases being decided and depending on whether she is offering a dissenting opinion or a majority opinion on that case.
- She was very good friends with the late Justice Antonin Scalia even though she disagreed with him vehemently on many key issues that came before the Supreme Court. They both loved the opera.
- Her granddaughter Clara Spera just graduated from Harvard Law School. Both Ruth and her daughter Jane were also Harvard law students. There are three generations of women lawyers in the family all educated at Harvard.
- Ruth has had a hand in deciding many important cases on the Supreme Court. Without her and her influence on the court there might not be gender inclusive admission policies for universities, same sex marriage rights or rights for people with mental illness to live in community settings. She has been the voice of dissent as well for many important rulings like the one which ended the manual recount of ballots in the 2000 election thus insuring a George Bush win and the most recent case where the Supreme Court decided a baker was within his rights not to provide a wedding cake for a same sex couple.
Portrait of Ruth Bader Ginsburg by Simmie Knox 2000
If you see the movie RBG you will know why the audience clapped at the end. I could probably write a dozen blog posts featuring five interesting things I learned about Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Look for more.
Called to Court
Filed under Movies, People
We saw First Reformed on Wednesday night. In the film a young man Michael who cares passionately about the environment commits suicide because his wife is pregnant. He feels the world is doomed because we humans have harmed its climate past the point of no return. He doesn’t know how he will respond to his child when she will confront him someday and ask how he could have brought her into the world when he knew about the cataclysm that was coming.
Philip Ettinger plays Michael in First Reformed. He asks priest Ernst Toller played by Ethan Hawke if God will forgive us for what we have done to the earth.
Michael kills himself to make room for his child on earth. He leaves so his child can take his place because having a child is apparently the most damaging thing you can do when it comes to the future of the earth. Each human being’s carbon footprint is so huge that no matter how much we recycle…. and bike or walk instead of taking the car….. and buy local….. and conserve water it doesn’t nearly begin to balance the harm we do to the environment by having a child. In the film Michael leaves the world to make room for his daughter to enter it. Some people would agree he did the right thing. This article on NPR for example Should We Be Having Kids in the Age of Climate Change addresses the very thing Michael is so concerned about.
I understand all that logically but….. having children is way to invest in our hope that the world can still be saved. Perhaps the next child who comes into this world will be the one who will figure out how to reverse climate change. Perhaps they will be the one to figure out how to survive the coming cataclysm.
Having children and now grandchildren has been the richest, most meaningful and most fulfilling aspect of my life but I know that is not the case for everyone and…… for some not having children is the right choice both for personal reasons and to save our earth. I’m just glad its a choice I didn’t have to make.
Recipe for a Terrorist
What Will Our Grandchildren Think?
Must We Live in Fear?
Filed under Movies, Nature
We saw the movie On Chesil Beach on Monday. It stars the luminous and lovely Saoirse Ronan who is superb in her role as young violinist Florence Ponting. Billy Howie plays her fiancée. He’s a recent history graduate named Edward Mayhew.
Florence and Billy are on their honeymoon. Neither of them has any idea how sex works and it leads to disaster. It makes the viewer awfully glad to be living in a time when information about sex is more readily available. Billy makes a choice the day after their wedding and it sets his life on an entirely different course than he’d planned. It makes you stop and wonder what choices in your own life changed its direction forever and how alternate choices might have turned out for you.
I haven’t read the book of the same name on which the film is based by Ian McEwan but apparently it has a much more ambiguous ending. I thought the end of the film was poorly done. I hardly ever notice make up in a movie but the cosmetic jobs on Florence and Billy who are in their sixties at the end of the movie are painfully unrealistic.
The story is a bit slow-moving ( I saw my husband nod off a couple of times) but I found it well acted and it made me think about my own wedding night at the North Star Inn- my first taste of both champagne and caviar which were supplied with our honeymoon package. I remember Dave called one of his baseball teammates before the evening was over to see if the guys had won or lost the game he’d missed that day. The outcome of our honeymoon night was thankfully not the same as Florence and Edward’s. On Chesil Beach is sad but worth seeing.
Other posts about movies……….
If you’ve given birth you probably have a photo like this too. Don’t I look all beaming and on top of things? I wasn’t. These kinds of photos of new mothers hide the truth. I was actually exhausted after a seventeen hour labor during which I had done some of the hardest work of my life. At one point my pain seemed so bad I told my husband I was never having another baby. When this photo was taken my body ached and throbbed and was so sore in so many places. I was also sooooooo in love with that little bit of a thing in my arms it totally overwhelmed me. I was petrified that I wouldn’t be able to look after him properly.
An exhausted Marlo leans against the hallway wall for a minute after dropping her older son off at school
I saw the movie Tully this week. It doesn’t attempt to hide the fact that pregnancy and early motherhood is full of messiness and hurt and hard work and anxiety. Marlo the new mother in the film is not only looking after her newborn but two older children as well. Her husband is nice and well-meaning but is working constantly and has little time to help her. Marlo doesn’t care about her appearance, throws frozen food warmed in the microwave on the table, and loses her temper easily. Her life is an endless and exhausting round of breast feedings, school drop offs and pick ups, diaper changes, making school lunches and household chores.
This photo was taken when our son was still tiny. The reason I look as happy as I do is because of my mother. I remember the first day I was home alone with my infant son after my husband Dave had left for work. The baby started to cry. I was still so stiff and sore I had to roll out of bed and crawl over to his cradle. I felt too weak to even pick him up, never mind feed him and bathe him. I crawled over to the phone and called my mother. “MOM………….” I sobbed into the receiver. “I’ll be right there,” she said. For the next few days Mom took care of me and our baby and my house till I had a handle on things and could manage on my own. I don’t know what I would have done without her.
A young woman named Tully arrives to help Marlo.
Marlo the new mother in the movie Tully doesn’t have a mother to help her but she does have Tully a night nurse hired by Marlo’s rich brother who helps bring a measure of sanity back to Marlo’s family life. Tully, a young and vibrant woman, cares for the baby at night so Marlo can sleep properly and she also cleans Marlo’s house, cooks for her family, gives her relationship help with her husband, and listens to her problems and concerns. Marlo doesn’t know what she would do without Tully.
The film Tully presents a more realistic view of new motherhood than we may have seen in movies in the past. Despite the challenges Marlo faces one never doubts for a minute the honest and passionate love in her heart for her children. I won’t say too much more about the film because it would be easy to spoil it for you. Take my word. It is worth seeing.
What Does Your Mother Do?
Mothers at the Met
Should Women With Young Children Be Politicians?
On Saturday I gave my last tour of the Insurgence/Resurgence exhibit at the Winnipeg Art Gallery. I have toured through the exhibit with hundreds of visitors since last September and have learned so many new things from my tour participants as they pointed out things in the art pieces that I hadn’t seen and shared how the works connected to them personally.
At the end of my tour on Saturday I told the group I would be going to see the movie Indian Horse in the evening. Based on the excellent book of the same name by Richard Wagamese the film tells the troubling story of an indigenous boy’s experience at a residential school. One of the women in my group had seen the movie and she said the Insurgence /Resurgence exhibit provided a hopeful balance to the film. The exhibit celebrated the gifts and talents of indigenous Canadians and placed them front and centre. The boy in the film who has a rare talent for the sport of hockey is prevented from celebrating that gift and retreats into a place of darkness because of the prejudice and abuse he experiences.
One of my favorite pieces in the Insurgence/Resurgence exhibit was called Gone But Not Forgotten. Made from wood collected along the banks of the Red and Assiniboine Rivers it is a memorial to people who have lost their lives in Winnipeg’s rivers. This week when I go to the art gallery the works that formed the Insurgence/Resurgence exhibit will be gone but they won’t easily be forgotten. An article in Saturday’s Free Press makes it clear the exhibit will have a lasting impact on the city of Winnipeg, the Winnipeg Art Gallery, its staff and visitors.
Hustle Bustle Downriver House by Bruno Canadien
She is Gripped By Terror