My calendar for the last half of June was packed.
But when my Dad got sick I realized the items on my busy schedule weren’t nearly as important as I’d thought.
One by one I cancelled – committee meetings, volunteer commitments, a haircut, social outings, writing commitments, speaking commitments, interviews for articles, a presentation at a school, a presentation to a writing group, the publication of a newsletter I edit for a charity, my role as judge and evaluator in two different competitions, tickets to a sporting event, an invitation to a party.
And everyone completely understood why I had to cancel. They could not have been kinder.
I admit I was disappointed to step back from some of the events on my calendar but I came to realize as the days of my Dad’s illness and then the days of preparation for his funeral went on that there just wasn’t space in my head, or my heart, or my days for much else.
I spent lots of time with my siblings and their partners as we walked with Dad through his end-of-life care and planned his funeral. My brothers and sister, and sister-in-law and brothers-in-law, are amazing people, who I am so lucky to have in my life. They were great sources of comfort.
I hung out with my two youngest granddaughters one morning because their cheerful presence and innocence were the best medicine ever.
I got to have my brother and his partner and my son and grandson who live in other provinces, as unexpected house guests, which was so lovely.
I visited and reconnected with many of my cousins at a social gathering after Dad’s funeral which was just great.
As I move forward and process my Dad’s death, I need to remember that my family and my connections with them are the most important thing, and while other things I do in my life are also enriching, they are not the most important thing.
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What Next? 