“It’s a personal decision.” Somebody said that to me when I was giving my opinion about a choice a couple had made that didn’t seem sensible or logical to me. It was a good reminder. It’s easy to pass judgment on the way people decide to live their lives and direct their futures. We may not always understand their reasoning. However it’s probably helpful to remember that most decisions are ‘personal choices’. While they don’t seem ‘right’ for us, they may be perfectly fine for others.
I remember when my husband Dave and I were planning to move to Hong Kong. We received advice from a number of well- meaning, interested people who wanted to be sure we were making the ‘right decision’. They asked questions like….
Won’t you miss your children? Shouldn’t you be providing support to your aging parents? Wouldn’t it be wiser to finish your career in Manitoba and receive the maximum pension? Have you considered how your life will change when you leave friends you’ve had for years, a house you’ve owned for a decade and a church that’s been your spiritual home for almost your entire married life?
We did think about all those things but ………. “it was a personal decision.”
When we were considering selling our home in Steinbach to buy a condo in Winnipeg we received advice again from people who asked quesitons like……
Where will Dave golf in Winnipeg? Aren’t condo fees expensive? Don’t you want a big enough house to host lots of guests? Won’t you miss life in a rural community? Do you really want to deal with the traffic, crowds and parking problems in Winnipeg? Is a condo a reliable real estate investment? Won’t you be scared to walk downtown at night?
We did think about all those things but…………. “it was a personal decision. “
It can be helpful to listen to advice from others when you are trying to decide whether a certain decision is the ‘right’ one. I do wonder however if any decision can’t be the ‘right’ one as long as you have a positive outlook, focus on the good aspects in whatever life sends your way, choose to be happy, and work hard to establish, nurture and build relationships with other people wherever you are; even people who want to give you advice about personal decisions.
One thing I’ve tried to keep in mind since receiving so much helpful advice is to be more careful about sharing my opinions about other people’s choices. After all what they decide to do with their life is…………. a personal decision.
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