Tag Archives: patience

Can Your Marriage Survive Lollygagging?

Dave checks out the menu at yet another local restaurant

We were looking for a restaurant to have supper one cold and windy night here in Praia da Luz, Portugal where we have rented a house for six weeks.  I was hungry and freezing but Dave insisted on touring around our whole area, stopping at every restaurant to read through the menus posted outside.  He just couldn’t decide where to eat. I finally lost my patience and shouted over the wind that he needed to just pick a place for goodness sake.  He retorted that he had only been trying to kill time so we could have dinner at exactly 7:00 as we’d discussed at home and then he added……….  “and you should be patient because I certainly didn’t get upset when you were lollygagging on our hike this afternoon.” 

I had never heard Dave use the word lollygagging before.  Perhaps he’d heard it in conversations between the many British residents in the area, but he was right.  I had lollygagged on our hike that afternoon.  I had stopped to take photos……. of flowersand plants and trees and the ocean and the cliffs and our path and interesting graffiti and Praia da Luz in the distance.  At one point I had been lollygagging so much I lost Dave as he entered a gully.   and because of that I headed off in the wrong direction and had to backtrack when I finally spotted him climbing up a steep hill. 

Dave waits for me to catch up

It started me thinking that having patience with your partner’s lollygagging is important if you want a relationship to be successful because I suspect often couples don’t share common lollygagging tendencies.  On hikes Dave focuses on getting to our destination.  I lollygag because I’m focusing more on our surroundings.  

Lunch of pizza, beer and sangria after our hike to Lagos

When we go out to dinner Dave lollygags because he focuses on looking at all the choices and enjoys the whole process of picking the perfect spot to eat. I focus on the food and having a meal.  I tend to lollygag in book stores and jewelry stores and Dave in sports stores and clothing stores. I lollygag more in art galleries and Dave more in history museums and zoos. 

I think over the many years we’ve been traveling together we’ve become more patient with each other’s lollygagging.  But every once in a while we snap. What lollygagging differences do other couples have to work on I wonder?

Other posts……..

Plumb Tuckered Out in Lisbon

Real and Messy and Honest

What Should I Take A Picture Of? 

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Filed under Family, Portugal

The Long Wait and Forgiveness- Nelson and Philomena

It may seem strange to compare perhaps the greatest political figure of our time with a retired nurse from Ireland, but last week I watched both the memorial services for Nelson Mandela and the movie Philomena which tells the true story of Philomena Lee.  I’ve been thinking about two things Philomena and Nelson had  in common.  They both had to wait a long time to realize their heart’s desire and they both practiced forgiveness. 

Nelson Mandela waited in prison for 27 years before he was granted an unconditional release that allowed him to be a part of the negotiations to end apartheid and become the first democratically elected president of South Africa.  

Philomena Lee waited 50 years before launching a search to find her illegitimate son who had been sold to an American family by the order of nuns Philomena worked for as a laundress. Although her son, who became a legal advisor to two American presidents had died, she was able to find out that he had desperately wanted to find her. She had prayed for him every day for 50 years. Philomena decided to share her story with the public so other biological parents and children might have a chance to be reunited. 

Nelson Mandela refused to be bitter. He forgave the people who had imprisoned him.

Philomena also refused to be bitter. She forgave the nuns who sold her baby and refused to hate them even when she found out they had deliberately withheld information from her that would have allowed her to find her son before he died. 

Patience and forgiveness. Valuable lessons from a Nobel Peace Prize winner and a loyal mother. 

Other posts about forgiveness……..

Landmines Museum Visit

Lessons From the Sydney Opera House

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Filed under History, Movies, Politics, Religion